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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/09/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
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Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The
second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the
first guy goes to see where the penny landed. He sees a guy swearing and
trying to get a penny out of his forehead. The second sees a girl holding
her dog who has a pencil through his head. The third guy sees a guy
laughing his head off. He asks, "Why are you laughing?" The guy says, "I
was cooking on my BBQ when I farted..." "What's so funny about that?" "It
blew my neighbor's house apart!"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Sign in a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a
mistake when you make it again. -- F. P. Jones

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Hundreds of chat rooms.

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

friendsand(dot)com is the Internet networking tool that brings people together. So if you're looking to make friends, find that special person, or connect with potential business partners, you'll find what you're looking for, regardless of if it's right next-door or around the globe.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.onefourthbutter.com/wayfu/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

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00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

500 dollars would come in handy

It's very quick. It's very easy. It's one hundred percent confidential. Absolutely no crreditt check will be done. No need to borrow money from friends or ask the boss for an advance on your check. We'll advance you that money. All you need is a checking account in good standing and a steady job.
Get an immediate loan on your paycheck and have the money wired into your account within 24 hours.

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If you need cash to you fast in order to:

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2) Get your automobile fixed.

3) Pay your bills.

4) Take that date out.

5) For any other reason.

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Thank you and have a nice day.

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A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

A millionaire throws a massive party for his fiftieth birthday. During the party, he's a bit bored and decides to stir things up a bit. He grabs the mic and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. He offers anything he owns to anyone who will swim across that pool.

The party continues for some time with no one accepting his offer, until suddenly there's a loud splash. All the party guests run to the pool to see what has happened, and in the pool a man is frantically swimming as hard as he can. Fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and the guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining, but the guy manages to reach the end and he leaps out of the pool, soaked.

The millionaire grabs the mic and says, "I am a man of his word, anything of mine I will give--for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So, what will it be?" the millionaire asks.
The guy grabs the mic and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the person that pushed me in!"

have you been to a car auction?

You might be asking yourself how it is possible to buy a luxury car at such a ridiculously low price, and the answer lay in the hands of the Government and financial institutions that seize and auction thousands of cars a day and auction them off quickly.

Various federal, state, and local government and law enforcement agencies as well as Banks and lending institutions regularly seize thousands of cars and Suv's every day and auction them off. At that point, we make it possible for you to bid and buy these vehicles for absolutely ridiculously low prices.

http://www.firespiterz.com/auct/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

00

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

A Texan stops in a Minesota bar and between drinks brags on how big his place in Texas but no-one pays any attention to him. He redoubles his efforts to get someone to listen to his monolog about his place in the great state of Texas but to no avail ... In desperation he corners an old farmers and declares � My place in Texas is so big I could hop into my truck in the morning, drive like hell and barely get to the edge of my property before the sun went down. The Minnesotian sips his beer and says �Yep � I had a truck like that once.

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"