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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 12/15/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's
stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in
Utah.

The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and
handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, "Well
Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your
last assignment."

The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will it
be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Colena was telling me about her buddy and *his* girlfriend.
They were working on a vehicle and using gasoline to clean the
parts with. It was a warm day and the gas was sitting in a
coffee can in the sun and eventually evaporated. Judi
demanded to know what happened to it. When they told her
what happened, she asked what eveporation was. So they told
her it got hot in the sun & made it go away.... Judi's reply...
"If you put it in the shade, will it come back?"

YOUR PoEm:
----------

A virile young man of Touraine
Had vesicles no one could drain.
With an unbroken flow
Thrice the course he would go,
Then roll over and start in again.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"... anyway talking about yuckies... oops I mean yuppies..."
-- Kristy Wilsen

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

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This is hilarious

Hi redharlow,

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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 12/14/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

The first Jewish woman President is elected.
She calls her Mother: "Mama, I've won the elections,
you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony."
"I don't know, what would I wear?"
"Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker"
"But I only eat kosher food"
"Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food"
"But how will I get there?"
"I'll send a limo, just come mama"
"Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy.
The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court
Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman
on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?"
.."Her brother's a doctor!"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit
a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by
his lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid
choice:

1.The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop;

2.The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial
fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed
handguns in public places;

3.To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County
Police patrol car parked at the front door;

4.An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having
coffee before reporting to duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and
fired a few wild shots.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the
gene pool.
Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire.
No one else was hurt.