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Kmart GiftCard Confirmation for redharlow@gmail.com

2005-12-15T20:54:00.000Z

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Kmart/Wal-mart GiftCard OfferConfirmation #6218-1v483j
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2005-12-15T16:03:00.000Z

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 12/15/2005

2005-12-15T08:59:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's
stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in
Utah.

The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and
handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, "Well
Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your
last assignment."

The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will it
be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Colena was telling me about her buddy and *his* girlfriend.
They were working on a vehicle and using gasoline to clean the
parts with. It was a warm day and the gas was sitting in a
coffee can in the sun and eventually evaporated. Judi
demanded to know what happened to it. When they told her
what happened, she asked what eveporation was. So they told
her it got hot in the sun & made it go away.... Judi's reply...
"If you put it in the shade, will it come back?"

YOUR PoEm:
----------

A virile young man of Touraine
Had vesicles no one could drain.
With an unbroken flow
Thrice the course he would go,
Then roll over and start in again.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"... anyway talking about yuckies... oops I mean yuppies..."
-- Kristy Wilsen

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

Add free content to your page by adding free Jokes2Go Random Humor to it! Just visit http://www.jokes2go.com/get_script to pick up your free code: it's fun, easy and your visitors will be entertained by seeing a new random joke, story, poem, quote or list excerpt every time they visit your site.

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2005-12-15T08:26:00.000Z

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2005-12-15T05:59:00.000Z

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2005-12-15T01:16:00.000Z

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2005-12-14T19:32:00.000Z

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This is hilarious

2005-12-14T15:04:00.000Z

Hi redharlow,

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2005-12-14T12:32:00.000Z

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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 12/14/2005

2005-12-14T08:40:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

The first Jewish woman President is elected.
She calls her Mother: "Mama, I've won the elections,
you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony."
"I don't know, what would I wear?"
"Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker"
"But I only eat kosher food"
"Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food"
"But how will I get there?"
"I'll send a limo, just come mama"
"Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy.
The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court
Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman
on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?"
.."Her brother's a doctor!"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit
a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by
his lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid
choice:

1.The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop;

2.The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial
fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed
handguns in public places;

3.To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County
Police patrol car parked at the front door;

4.An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having
coffee before reporting to duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and
fired a few wild shots.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the
gene pool.
Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire.
No one else was hurt.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial,
Because when out wooing
Whatever he was doing
At ten he'd insert his commercial.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"I'd love to go out with you, but I want to spend more time with my blender."
-- Unknown

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

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2005-12-13T20:43:00.000Z

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2005-12-13T20:08:00.000Z

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2005-12-13T17:30:00.000Z

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Dunkin Donuts-GiftCard OfferConfirmation #redharlow@gmail.com

2005-12-13T13:02:00.000Z

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2005-12-13T13:00:00.000Z

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2005-12-13T08:58:00.000Z

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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 12/13/2005

2005-12-13T08:36:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

What goes "click click, Is that it?, click click, Is that it?"

Steveie Wonder doing a rubik's cube

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an
airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16
bills.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

There was a young lady of Maine
Who declared she'd a man on her brain.
But you knew from the view
Of her waist as it grew
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"... industry giant Microsoft Corporation... a company that has become
successful without resorting to software testing..."
-- Unknown, rec.humor.funny

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

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2005-12-12T01:22:00.000Z

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Congratulations redharlow@gmail.com on your XBox 360 offer

2005-12-11T09:23:00.000Z

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2005-12-10T07:16:00.000Z

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2005-12-07T11:17:00.000Z

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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 12/04/2005

2005-12-04T08:00:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all
those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry
when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting
to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office
was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and
said, "If you'll come to the Baptist Church this evening,
you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven."
"I don't think I'll be there," the boy said.
"You don't even know where your way to the post office."

YOUR PoEm:
----------

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"I still have my health. *thok* I still have my health. *thok* I still have
my health."

-- Ally McBeal on lost love

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

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2005-11-12T21:53:00.000Z

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A millionaire throws a massive party for his fiftieth birthday. During the party, he's a bit bored and decides to stir things up a bit. He grabs the mic and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. He offers anything he owns to anyone who will swim across that pool.

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2005-11-12T16:58:00.000Z

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Thank you and have a nice day.

Now a joke for your pleasure:

PC Three Little Pigs

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to the area they each built a beautiful house. One pig built a house of straw, one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and self-determination.
But their idyll was soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry in both a physical and ideological sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw.

The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture."

But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and puffed and blew down thehouse of straw. The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. Where the house had stood, other wolves bought up the land and started a banana plantation.

At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, "Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Go to hell, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!"

At this the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fibreglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkelling and dolphin shows.

At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, 'Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!' This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations. By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the situation from the carnivore's point of view. So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate their homeland. They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been forced off their lands. This new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort complex with machine-guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs.

Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone. {My note: Well it is a fairy tale after all.}

Please note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.

Free xbox 360

2005-11-12T16:02:00.000Z

------608194782438718043---
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Enjoy a New Microsoft XBox 360 for free.

When you complete sponsor offers Features:
20 GB hard drive
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video game
n.
An electronic or computerized game played by manipulating images on a video display or television screen.

------608194782438718043
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Enjoy a New Microsoft XBox 360 for free.

When you complete sponsor offers Features:
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Plays DVDs and MP3s
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Yours: FREE

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Thank you and have a nice day.

video game
n.
An electronic or computerized game played by manipulating images on a video display or television screen.

------608194782438718043---

Two hundred dollar Starbucks Gift Card for sampling products.

2005-11-12T14:27:00.000Z

------23922610590232608---
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Enjoy Starbucks coffee for free. This gift card is redeemable at any store for any purchase. It's yours free just for participating in sample offers.

http://www.royaldowntwo.com/coffee/

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A brief history of coffee for the interested party:

Coffee was first discovered in Eastern Africa in an area we know today as Ethiopia. A popular legend refers to a goat herder by the name of Kaldi, who observed his goats acting unusually frisky after eating berries from a bush. Curious about this phenomena, Kaldi tried eating the berries himself. He found that these berries gave him a renewed energy. The news of this energy laden fruit quickly spread throughout the region.

Monks hearing about this amazing fruit, dried the berries so that they could be transported to distant monasteries.They reconstituted these berries in water, ate the fruit, and drank the liquid to provide stimulation for a more awakened time for prayer.

Coffee berries were transported from Ethiopia to the Arabian peninsula, and were first cultivated in what today is the country of Yemen.

From there, coffee traveled to Turkey where coffee beans were roasted for the first time over open fires. The roasted beans were crushed, and then boiled in water, creating a crude version of the beverage we enjoy today.

Coffee first arrived on the European continent by means of Venetian trade merchants. Once in Europe this new beverage fell under harsh criticism from the Catholic church. Many felt the pope should ban coffee, calling it the drink of the devil. To their surprise, the pope, already a coffee drinker, blessed coffee declaring it a truly Christian beverage.

Coffee houses spread quickly across Europe becoming centers for intellectual exchange. Many great minds of Europe used this beverage, and forum, as a springboard to heightened thought and creativity.

In the 1700's, coffee found its way to the Americas by means of a French infantry captain who nurtured one small plant on its long journey across the Atlantic. This one plant, transplanted to the Caribbean Island of Martinique, became the predecessor of over 19 million trees on the island within 50 years. It was from this humble beginning that the coffee plant found its way to the rest of the tropical regions of South and Central America.

Coffee was declared the national drink of the then colonized United States by the Continental Congress, in protest of the excessive tax on tea levied by the British crown.

Espresso, a recent innovation in the way to prepare coffee, obtained its origin in 1822, with the innovation of the first crude espresso machine in France. The Italians perfected this wonderful machine and were the first to manufacture it. Espresso has become such an integral part of Italian life and culture, that there are presently over 200,000 espresso bars in Italy.

Today, coffee is a giant global industry employing more than 20 million people. This commodity ranks second only to petroleum in terms of dollars traded worldwide. With over 400 billion cups consumed every year, coffee is the world's most popular beverage. If you can imagine, in Brazil alone, over 5 million people are employed in the cultivation and harvesting of over 3 billion coffee plants.

Sales of premium specialty coffees in the United States have reached the multi billion dollar level, and are increasing significantly on an annual basis.

------23922610590232608
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
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Enjoy Starbucks coffee for free. This gift card is redeemable at any store for any purchase. It's yours free just for participating in sample offers.

http://www.royaldowntwo.com/coffee/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A brief history of coffee for the interested party:

Coffee berries were transported from Ethiopia to the Arabian peninsula, and were first cultivated in what today is the country of Yemen.

Coffee houses spread quickly across Europe becoming centers for intellectual exchange. Many great minds of Europe used this beverage, and forum, as a springboard to heightened thought and creativity.

Coffee was declared the national drink of the then colonized United States by the Continental Congress, in protest of the excessive tax on tea levied by the British crown.

Sales of premium specialty coffees in the United States have reached the multi billion dollar level, and are increasing significantly on an annual basis.

------23922610590232608---

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2005-11-12T11:54:00.000Z

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Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/12/2005

2005-11-12T07:56:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

How do you clean a condom?

Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

MOST HORRIBLE DRINK

The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is
Khoona. It is drunk by Afghan tribesmen on their wedding night and
consists of a small amount of still-warm 'very recently attained' bull
semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

Van Gogh found a whore who would lay,
And accept a small painting as pay.
"Vive l' Art!" cried Van Gogh,
"But it's too fucking slow---
I wish I could paint ten a day!"

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"How to Overthrow the System: brew your own beer; kick in your Tee Vee; kill
your own beef; build your own cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you
bloody well feel like it."

--Edward Abbey

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- End of today's humor picks -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Some useful links:

Your Future is in Your Hands

2005-11-12T07:32:00.000Z







To opt-out of this AD ONLY, please click here or write to us at: Fast Cash in Foreclosures, ATTN: Unsubscribes, 92 Bell Street, Orange, New Jersey 07050. We will respect your privacy.

cars and trucks siezed by the bank and auctioned

2005-11-11T23:04:00.000Z

You might be asking yourself how it is possible to buy a luxury car at such a ridiculously low price, and the answer lay in the hands of the Government and financial institutions that seize and auction thousands of cars a day and auction them off quickly.

Various federal, state, and local government and law enforcement agencies as well as Banks and lending institutions regularly seize thousands of cars and Suv's every day and auction them off. At that point, we make it possible for you to bid and buy these vehicles for absolutely ridiculously low prices.

http://www.calldhome.com/auct/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

A Texan stops in a Minesota bar and between drinks brags on how big his place in Texas but no-one pays any attention to him. He redoubles his efforts to get someone to listen to his monolog about his place in the great state of Texas but to no avail ... In desperation he corners an old farmers and declares � My place in Texas is so big I could hop into my truck in the morning, drive like hell and barely get to the edge of my property before the sun went down. The Minnesotian sips his beer and says �Yep � I had a truck like that once.

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Xbox 360 yours with just your participation.

2005-11-11T19:14:00.000Z

------5090124901181818613---
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Enjoy a New Microsoft XBox 360 for free.

When you complete sponsor offers Features:
20 GB hard drive
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Plays DVDs and MP3s
more details

List Price: 399.99
Yours: FREE

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Thank you and have a nice day.

video game
n.
An electronic or computerized game played by manipulating images on a video display or television screen.

------5090124901181818613
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Enjoy a New Microsoft XBox 360 for free.

When you complete sponsor offers Features:
20 GB hard drive
Enhanced graphics
Plays DVDs and MP3s
more details

List Price: 399.99
Yours: FREE

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Thank you and have a nice day.

video game
n.
An electronic or computerized game played by manipulating images on a video display or television screen.

------5090124901181818613---

Enjoy seven days no cost to meet people.

2005-11-11T17:44:00.000Z

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

Thousands of new single ladies join every day to meet men.
Send and receive all the emails you want
Get up-close and personal in a chat room
Enjoy the chat rooms. Complete and full functionality.

Come and start YOUR 7 days now.

http://www.veryberrytst.com/uub/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Car and boat auctions with items at ridiculously low prices.

2005-11-11T14:39:00.000Z

http://www.veryberrytst.com/auct/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

unbeatable lease prices on new cars

2005-11-11T13:10:00.000Z

------23529305821216612---
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Need a new car? Are you ready to buy a New Car?

Get all the information that you will need before you step onto the car lot. Sign up today ande get a no-obligation price quote from dealers that are local to you.

By having a competitive price quote in your hand it will give you the information you need to negotiate a good deal. No more being taken advantage of at the lot.

Get in the know, before you go. Get Your new car quote today.

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A couple car jokes for your yucks...

I went to a car dealership to look at cars, and saw a sign that read, ''If you want to get back on your feet... miss a car payment.

Penguins Go to the Zoo

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

------23529305821216612
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Need a new car? Are you ready to buy a New Car?

Get all the information that you will need before you step onto the car lot. Sign up today ande get a no-obligation price quote from dealers that are local to you.

By having a competitive price quote in your hand it will give you the information you need to negotiate a good deal. No more being taken advantage of at the lot.

Get in the know, before you go. Get Your new car quote today.

http://www.wellifyoucan.com/autoquoter/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A couple car jokes for your yucks...

I went to a car dealership to look at cars, and saw a sign that read, ''If you want to get back on your feet... miss a car payment.

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

------23529305821216612---

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/11/2005

2005-11-11T08:20:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

What is the difference between a hockey game
and a High School reunion?

At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Try as I might though, I just can't seem to win many points with my
wife. Just the other day she was reminding me of how often she had to
ask for my help with our kids. Then she pointed out that the youngest
had moved out over eight years ago. I smiled and said "OK, what would
you like me to do next ?" Again -- nothing but cold icy silence. I
just don't understand that woman at all.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket
Had a hole as big as a basket.
A spot, as a bride,
In it now, you could hide,
And include with your luggage your mascot.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"Applaud friends, the comedy is over."
-Ludwig van Beethoven's last words

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- End of today's humor picks -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Some useful links:

Meet people for a week at no cost.

2005-11-10T21:54:00.000Z

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

http://www.redtearyhall.com/uub/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

Sample products get Starbucks 200 dollar gift card.

2005-11-10T21:29:00.000Z

------53327653238161083---
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Enjoy Starbucks coffee for free. This gift card is redeemable at any store for any purchase. It's yours free just for participating in sample offers.

http://www.holmesdomes.com/coffee/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A brief history of coffee for the interested party:

Coffee berries were transported from Ethiopia to the Arabian peninsula, and were first cultivated in what today is the country of Yemen.

Coffee houses spread quickly across Europe becoming centers for intellectual exchange. Many great minds of Europe used this beverage, and forum, as a springboard to heightened thought and creativity.

Coffee was declared the national drink of the then colonized United States by the Continental Congress, in protest of the excessive tax on tea levied by the British crown.

Sales of premium specialty coffees in the United States have reached the multi billion dollar level, and are increasing significantly on an annual basis.

------53327653238161083
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Enjoy Starbucks coffee for free. This gift card is redeemable at any store for any purchase. It's yours free just for participating in sample offers.

http://www.holmesdomes.com/coffee/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.domecomb.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

A brief history of coffee for the interested party:

Coffee berries were transported from Ethiopia to the Arabian peninsula, and were first cultivated in what today is the country of Yemen.

Coffee houses spread quickly across Europe becoming centers for intellectual exchange. Many great minds of Europe used this beverage, and forum, as a springboard to heightened thought and creativity.

Coffee was declared the national drink of the then colonized United States by the Continental Congress, in protest of the excessive tax on tea levied by the British crown.

Sales of premium specialty coffees in the United States have reached the multi billion dollar level, and are increasing significantly on an annual basis.

------53327653238161083---

Cheaper and better medical insurance

2005-11-10T21:09:00.000Z

The price that most of us pay for health insurance is ridiculous. Typically it's not because there are not cheaper, more effective policies out there, but because we're just not aware of them.

http://www.planetgranetit.com/lowercost/

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or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

Now a joke for your pleasure:

The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture."

At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, "Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Go to hell, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!"

Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone. {My note: Well it is a fairy tale after all.}

Please note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.

Find auctions for siezed cars.

2005-11-10T19:48:00.000Z

http://www.combthehead.com/auct/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

need an advance on your check?

2005-11-10T19:44:00.000Z

This zero cost application takes just three minutes.

http://www.planetgranetit.com/loot/

If you need cash to you fast in order to:

1) Avoid outrageous bounced check fees.

2) Get your automobile fixed.

3) Pay your bills.

4) Take that date out.

5) For any other reason.

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

Make Friends with people near you.

2005-11-10T17:46:00.000Z

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

friendsand(dot)com is the Internet networking tool that brings people together. So if you're looking to make friends, find that special person, or connect with potential business partners, you'll find what you're looking for, regardless of if it's right next-door or around the globe.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.combthehead.com/wayfu/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

Incredible: Palm-sized digital video camera

2005-11-10T14:21:00.000Z

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/10/2005

2005-11-10T08:20:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

IDIOTS IN MANAGEMENT

At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who
is leaving the company due to "downsizing" our manager spoke up
and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more
often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each
other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

In the soap opera heard in Gomorrah,

The heroine wakes up in horror
To find that a prick
Nearly three inches thick

Is halfway up her tune-in-tomorrow.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which
no remedy exists, unless laughter could be
said to remedy anything.

--Kurt Vonnegut

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- End of today's humor picks -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Some useful links:

Do you like to chat with new people?

2005-11-10T04:11:00.000Z

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.quartercupchip.com/wayfu/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

Very popular dating site.

2005-11-10T01:06:00.000Z

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

http://www.poolcooloff.com/uub/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

What do Studio 8 and French horns have in common?

2005-11-09T13:47:00.000Z

Macromedia Studio 8 enabled the New York Philharmonic to construct a website that promotes its timeless music with today's best web technologies.

Site visitors can view streaming videos of artist interviews, listen to sound clips, read program notes and artist biographies, as well
as securely select and purchase tickets. By offering a rich web experience that is easy for older generations yet engaging to young people, the organization is ensuring the legacy of classical music in the digital age.

"We wanted an interface that would be very approachable, very easy, very efficient."
Watch video ›

Join us for events ›


Upgrade to Studio 8 from any previous version of any Studio product for the introductory price of £299 ex VAT. New release includes: • Dreamweaver 8 • Flash Professional 8 • Fireworks 8 • Contribute 3 • FlashPaper 2
Free trial › Buy now › Locate a reseller ›

Macromedia support | Macromedia and your privacy

Thank you for your continued interest in Macromedia products. If you would rather not receive updates about events, classes, or products, write to newsflash@hvm.macromedia.com and type "no thanks" in the Subject line. You may also change your communication preference by visiting this web page.

Macromedia, Inc., 601 Townsend Street, San Francisco, California 94103

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/09/2005

2005-11-09T08:12:00.000Z

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

Three guys are in a Cessna. The first drops a penny out the window. The
second drops a pencil and the third a bomb. When the plane lands, the
first guy goes to see where the penny landed. He sees a guy swearing and
trying to get a penny out of his forehead. The second sees a girl holding
her dog who has a pencil through his head. The third guy sees a guy
laughing his head off. He asks, "Why are you laughing?" The guy says, "I
was cooking on my BBQ when I farted..." "What's so funny about that?" "It
blew my neighbor's house apart!"

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasian.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a
mistake when you make it again. -- F. P. Jones

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- End of today's humor picks -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Some useful links:

Hundreds of chat rooms.

2005-11-09T05:01:00.000Z

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.onefourthbutter.com/wayfu/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

500 dollars would come in handy

2005-11-09T02:22:00.000Z

This zero cost application takes just three minutes.

http://www.lockboxlox.com/loot/

If you need cash to you fast in order to:

1) Avoid outrageous bounced check fees.

2) Get your automobile fixed.

3) Pay your bills.

4) Take that date out.

5) For any other reason.

http://www.pagetenand.com/loot/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

have you been to a car auction?

2005-11-09T00:01:00.000Z

http://www.firespiterz.com/auct/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Unlimmited email and chat with women for a week for no charge.

2005-11-08T22:49:00.000Z

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

http://www.pagetenand.com/uub/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

Cars siezed by the government and banks.

2005-11-08T22:23:00.000Z

http://www.onefourthbutter.com/auct/

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Thank you and have a nice day.

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Unlimmited email and chat with women for a week for no charge.

2005-11-08T21:12:00.000Z

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

http://www.onefourthbutter.com/uub/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.twothirdsmilk.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

Make Friends with people near you.

2005-11-08T19:44:00.000Z

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.warrensdesks.com/wayfu/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

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Thank you and have a nice day.